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Family: *says something racist*
Family: *says something sexist*
Family: *says something homophobic*
Family: *makes fun of people with tattoos*
Family: *tells you why you’re bad at life*
Family: why don’t you wanna spend time with us?
Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.
when I am a parent I am going to celebrate my kid’s birthday a day earlier each progressive year instead of the same day every year until they figure it out and ask me what is going on and I will say the year is disintegrating and time isn’t real trust your heart and love will triumph over calendars
10 days after I turned 8
got my lips stuck in a gate
my friends all laughed
And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee - right on the lip - and we couldn’t even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: USTA!
your friends all laughed- usta.
how do you spell that?
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